Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
