My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
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