R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
