We won't sleep together?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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