Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
