3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
420 ftw
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
