just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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