You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
