Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
