i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Verdict: uncircumcised.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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