brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
