It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
