his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You need Xanax blowdarts
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Oh god it's open bar.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
