my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
