Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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