So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
