So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
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