I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
