not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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