Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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