Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
