i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
