____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
