I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize
