She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I think people are normalizing furries
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
