but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
you would pick up someone in the library
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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