if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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