$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Nicole vs. Life
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Randomize
