Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
