I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
