if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
