idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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