THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
