3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
