craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
