I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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