My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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