sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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