Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
