she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
