i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
