the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
you didnt know i had herpes?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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