he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize