Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
My feet surprised me
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