Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
