he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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