God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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