If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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