i think my tv is drunk
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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