FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
