Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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