i already hear my dad disowning me
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
