she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
