You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
