I must be too annoying 4 u.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
