maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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