i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
it hurts more in the daytime
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
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