Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
