belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
